Cross My Heart
by Chionodoxa
Summary: ::Post Shugo Chara!:: She never left the Lock, yet she never returned the Key. It was strange, what your heart's desires made you do, how easily you could lock your heart. A wish on a shooting star, a dream in a mirror, it didn't matter. Hinamori Amu would get it, one way or another. {Amuto, Rimahiko, Kutau}


**Author**: Chionodoxa  
**Title**: Cross My Heart _(and hope to die__)_  
**Status**: Incomplete: 1/?  
**Pairing**: A/I; R/N; K/U  
**Rating**: K+/T  
**Warnings**: Darker Representations; Light Language  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Shugo Chara! but I am abusing the plotline.**  
**

**Summary**: [Post Shugo Chara!] She never left the Lock, yet she never returned the Key. It was strange, what your heart's desires made you do, how easily you could lock your heart. A wish on a shooting star, a dream in a mirror, it didn't matter. Hinamori Amu would get it, one way or another.

**Notes**: Just, enjoy. Really. R&R if you can. Please. Thank you. ^^

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**Cross My Heart**  
Arc #1: Lock My Heart  
_Chapter 1: Destiny_

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_...She leaned forward, a deadly smirk on her face, as she whispered, **Do you still rely on dreams?**..._

Mashiro Rima was the type of person who didn't care about anything, you scorn, staring at the ice queen's bored expression. The males have hearts in their eyes; absolutely pathetic, you think, masking your annoyancelonginguncertaintysadnessconfusion with hate.

It seems you can only hate now. You can't dream any longer. But_ she_ still is a daydreamer, _she_ is still in her fantasy, but you? You can't see the illusion anymore. You can't see the sight of magic and wishes and wants. Desire is what almost made you fall, and you will not fall anymore.

So, you decide, Mashiro Rima is the type of person who only cared about falling.

The teacher is calling your name, your alias, and you feel a smug smile begging to spread over your face now, watching as she turns to look at your eyes. She's evidently shocked, and the secret makes you feel a thrum of excitement, of risk. It's been a long time since you could truly feel the pure danger of failing.

"...Mikiku Mami," you introduce yourself, and you allow yourself to enjoy the moment as Mashiro Rima looks over you, gold meeting gold as she tries to discern who you are, what you are, and why you exist. You allow yourself to smile, because this moment is truly _memorable_.

She glares at you, but you have long since faced worse ones from your worst rivals, even Hoshina Utau, (absolutely hilarious, that meeting, you scoff) and you merely pretend to falter. This is a stage now, and all you can see is her and you. You and her.

"Mashiro Rima." she mutters, and you act surprised, when in reality you're just begging to laugh. This was_ beautiful_.

You take a tentative seat next to her, noting that it is the only seat that no one dares to sit in. Funny, you wonder, because you can remember that time when Hinamori Amu made sure _she_ could be _free_, that _she_ could be her 'true self'.

But Hinamori Amu was dead a long time ago, and 'true selves' were just lies to keep a hopeless wish going.

The class is interesting of course, but you have long since learned the information given to you. A test is announced, but it is meaningless compared to the euphoria you are feeling as Rima sneaks a glance to you every once in a while. You can't suppress the laughter, you think, but you somehow manage to do just that.

How alive you are right now. How happy you are right now.

The teacher ducks out of the room, done with their lesson, and finally, the stubborn blonde speaks up. Inside your head you're rolling your eyes, because the facade was getting old. She's speaking, and you allow her to, because you have no idea what else you can say to dissuade the girl. You are but the new student, transferred over from a private school, but you are still the _new student_, and _everyone_ knows that that is a disadvantage.

"...You remind me of Amu." Rima is looking at you now, judging your reaction. You can't help it anymore; you laugh outright, the sound drowned out by the slight chatter around you.

Composing yourself, you answer, "I'm pretty sure I'm nothing like Hinamori-san," you assure, grinning like a lunatic inside of your mind, "She was the star of so many things, of course." Rima flinches as if struck, but you ignore that, and continue to act oblivious.

You set her head on you right hand, looking at her with a small smile adorning your features. Rima is staring at your hair, looking over every sky blue strand, and finally you open your mouth, "It was too bad that she disappeared." A smirk twists your face, but the blonde does not seem to care. No one seems to realize that the moment happened.

Rima goes pale, and stands up, her hair covering her face as she runs out, but all you can think about is how you can still call her Rima, and she can still ask if you are Amu. A flash seems to float towards the open sliding door, but you pretend you didn't see that. You cannot see the dreams anymore, you will not see the nightmares.

Even if fate wills it to be so, you will not allow it to.

Because you are not Mashiro Rima, you are not Hotori Tadase, you are not Fujisaki Nagihiko, you are not Souma Kukai, you are not Yuiki Yaya, you are not Sanjo Kairi, you are not Hoshina Utau, and you are not Tsukiyomi freaking Ikuto.

You are Mikiku Mami, and you will not remember.

(You are Hinamori Amu, and that is fine with you.)

_...And when she backed off, she answers, **No**, as her heart screams, **Yes**..._

* * *

_...She breathes in, she breathes out, but she locks her eyes with his blue ones with contempt..._

You are leaning over the sink, gripping it as you stare into your reflection, dry heaving. Kusukusu appears next to you, trying to call you back by chanting your name over and over again.

**Rima, Rima, Rima, are you okay, Rima**...

You clutch your head with your left hand, and the right one holds on tighter. Kusukusu tries harder, and you resist the urge to growl as tears dry on your face, real tears, tears of sadness.

**Rima, Rima, Rima, please, Rima, come back, _Rima_**...

Are these tears fake? you wonder, looking more intensely into the mirror, leaning closer as Kusukusu and her bright attire seem to fade away into the background. Are you just a doll that is destined to break?

Suddenly, you feel like screaming, but nothing comes out. You try, you try, you try, and hysteria is coming over you. You can't see your guardian character anymore, and you are reaching out blindly, calling her name.

_Kusukusu, Kusukusu, Kusukusu, Kusukusu, Kusukumu, Kusu_**amu**, _Ku_**amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amuamu, Amuamuamuamuamu**...

You don't understand anymore, and faintly you realize that Kusukusu is trying to grasp you, to cage you, and then she's running off to gain help most likely. You struggle to enter the darkness, and it is surprisingly gentle. _Freedom_, you murmur, and you turn your head to go and hide.

_You have been running away a lot, Rima_, you can hear your own consciousness coo, _You have been hiding a lot, Rima_. You're terrified now, and the light is coming closer, no, stop, st_op, stopstop, stopstopstopstopstop! Shut up! I haven't!_

And you let yourself be carried away by the shadows, but one name that continues to plague you as you fall torments you.

The pain still lingers, and you cry out in agony as it repeats in your head, over and over again.

**Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amu, Amuamuamuamu, Amuamuamuamuamu, Amuamuamuamuamuamu**...

_...**You don't deserve this**, you hiss, and you turn on your heel..._

_...But I don't either..._

_(tick tock, tick tock, tick tock)_

Let the game begin.

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Chapter End


End file.
